Recently I began thinking about one of the major turning points in my life. It was a VERY traumatic time. And then I realized my story might be an encouragement to some fellow travelers.
The title above is based on a question a wise woman once challenged me with many years ago. And it helped change my life. Will it change yours too?
Her name was Ruth Dearborn. If you’re from the Tri-Valley area, the one that isn’t far from Oakland, California, you might have known her—or known of her. For many years she and her husband owned and operated a successful chain of Bible book stores throughout the area. If I remember correctly they were simply known as the Dearborn Bible Book Stores. She was also a very knowledgeable student and adult teacher of the Word at the church I attended.
To me Ruth was an enigma. She came across as being kind of “crotchety,” yet people were attracted to her insights on the Word and her zeal for the Old Testament. She truly intimidated me, yet God used her richly in my life.
At the time our lives connected I was a broken human being… literally struggling to survive. Every area of my life (spiritually, physically, relationally, and emotionally) lay in ruins. And other Christians had unwittingly played a rather large role in my demise. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I had also been left floundering alone.
My proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back” was a shattered relationship. A friend had misunderstood my intentions on a matter and subsequently had very painfully hurt and rejected me. I’ve come to believe that since this came at a time when I was already experiencing a deep spiritual struggle and emotional issues, and my husband and I were also facing business failure and financial ruin, this rejection and everything it meant must have been the final blow for me. I began feeling violated and traumatized by man and God. Life had finally beaten me down. I literally felt like a broken, empty shell. I later learned my condition was so severe I probably would have been hospitalized if we had been insured.
One day, while continuing to struggle with severe depression, I felt impressed to ask Ruth if we could talk. Thus started our God-ordained relationship; she was the gracious giver and I was the desperate taker. But thankfully it did not remain that way. Looking back I can now see she was my spiritual mother for a while. She was also an invaluable mentor.
Just as a side note: one of the things I appreciated about Ruth was her directness. She didn’t pull any punches with me. She could be very direct and firm, yet she also knew how to soften the blows when need be. God knew just the type of person I needed at that critical point in my life!
During one of our visits she very pointedly told me I was continuing to rehash the same thing (my broken relationship) over and over again, and that I needed to let it go… and until I did so would not be able to move forward with my life! Something told me she was right, but I could not make sense of it. In my mind the situation was out of my control. The only thing I could see was I felt like the discarded victim of another, and so as such was the helpless party. From my perspective I had been callously wronged… and it continued to plague me! I later came to realize that I was trapped in a debilitating cycle of emotional blame and pain.
But thank God He was able to break this destructive cycle when I was helpless to do so! And as you probably already know, he used Ruth to do so.
During one of our visits she asked me a series of questions, with good explanations and conversation in between. She wanted to make sure I understood the importance of each, before moving on to the next. Greatly condensed, the questioning session went something like this…
(For those interested, I’ve provided endnotes of scripture references that supports her wise counsel.)
She first shared with me about Job[1], and what he went through, then asked: Evelyn, just like Job, God loves you and has put a hedge of protection[2] around you. Do you believe that?
Yes, I believe that. I may not be feeling like it right now, but deep down I believe it.
OK then… do you also believe that God is in control of all things[3]? That even Satan can’t do anything unless God allows him to?
Yes, I believe that.
Now do you believe that as a Christian, God can work all things together for your good[4]?
Yes I do.
Then picture this… there you are with God’s “hedge of protection” surrounding you. And outside the hedge, picture Satan… shooting his arrows at you… throwing rocks… whatever he can get his hands on. But they’re not reaching you because of the hedge. Are you with me so far?
Yes… I can see that.
Now picture God’s hand reaching down from heaven and parting the hedge every once in a while, allowing some of Satan’s missiles to reach you. If God is in control that means He’s controlling which ones get through too. And he’s allowing those particular ones for a reason—for your good. Is that right?
Yes. I believe He always has a purpose.
Now picture Jesus himself standing before you with his hand outstretched, handing you an item, saying, “Evelyn, Here are some hard things to deal with that you’re not going to understand, but they will serve a purpose for you and the Kingdom.” Then He asks, “Will you trust me? Will you willingly take it?” What would your response be?
I answered, “Since I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was truly God, and I do love and trust him… yes. I would willingly take it.”
Her final questions were very pointed and challenging. Then if you’re willing to take it directly from His hand, and if you really believe all these things you say you do… why then can you not accept this situation and hurt the same way?
You’re assured by Him that he’s allowed it for a reason. If you really believe all these things like you say… but yet continue to complain about what’s happened, isn’t that saying otherwise? Aren’t you then rebelling against God, and rejecting what He has asked of you? Aren’t you really saying, “I don’t like the way you’re running things… and I don’t trust you?”
Needless to say Ruth gave me much to think about! Looking back I believe that is when my life took a dramatic about face. I began looking at difficult circumstances very differently. And because of it I'm able to experience many more victories!
I shared this story because her wise words are timeless, and can be meaningful to others too. So, if (or when) you find yourself in despair, can you picture God’s hedge and hand, Satan’s missiles, and Ruth’s challenge? “Are you willing to accept the situation as if it's from His hand?”
If you do, I believe you too will find that your answer has made all the difference in the world!
About the endnotes: I used the New International Version (NIV) from www.Biblegateway.com for the references. I’ve also included links for your convenience.
